It is days (and weeks) like this that I feel like a failure. This week started out with Kaelyn picking up cow poop with her hands and ended with me dropping my violin during a lesson. In the middle of the week I had to deal with terrible twos, starting up homeschool after a 2 1/2 week break, breaking my viola, and testing to see if I don't need my anxiety medicine anymore. This week has been the ultimate anxiety test. I need to just stop. Both instruments are going to the doctor on Saturday and Kaelyn has been disinfected. I can move on. Right?
Being thankful has been difficult this week. I have been stressed out and frustrated with myself and I have had a hard time seeing the good.
I will give thanks. God is good and he is with me all the time. He was there when Kaelyn was giving her baby a bath in the toilet. He was there when Sebastian was crying over math lessons. He was even there when I forgot where my head was (which happens way too often).Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.~ Thessalonians 5:16-18
I believe this week has been stressful because I decided to do some deep Bible studying. I have read the Bible in 90 days, and I have paged through the Psalms and Proverbs occasionally, but I have never dived in and dug down. I decided I wanted to spend quality time with my Bible and read the entire Bible in chronological order and take my time with it. I expect this will take a long time- a year or longer. Even though I have wanted to hide under the covers when I get home, I have made sure to spend some time with the Word.
My thought today is thanks.
- I am thankful that God loves me.
- I am thankful my husband is understanding.
- I am thankful my kids are crazy.
- I am thankful my job is not work- but something I love to do.
- I am thankful for The Table, a group of families that come together for discipleship, fellowship, and relationship. (I thrive on our meetings!)
- I am thankful for food on our plates and heat in the house. Too many people are without basic needs and we have ours covered. I cannot be thankful enough.